Well, how are we doing ?, the truth is that I much better, and that is how I already told you the other day in medication change I've been a week with a pill less in my body, yes, a week with a pill less and I still have not done any madness or anything happened to me, and I who thought I was going to die, you see.
I feel much better in my mood and I'm going out with friends every day, my head still doesn't stop but well that's normal, it's always going to be a thousand an hour, that's something I'm almost used to at all, the truth is that I am more nervous than normal, I don't know what pill they have taken from me but I have really noticed it in my mood, especially in my nerves and restlessness.
And the case is that I would love to be able to tell you that the pill has been taken from me, but I have no idea, as it turns out that my last suicide attempt was taking all the pills I had at home, I clarify that then I lived alone, now my controls control me older sister who happens to be a pharmacist, she takes care of having the prescription and taking out the pills I need, filling in the pillboxes and giving them to my mother and my mother gives me the right pills that I should take every day, neither one more nor one less, it is the only way that I do not do any madness again, and I agree.
The fact is that I see the recipe for about fifteen minutes, which is what it costs me to get from the ambulatory to my sister's pharmacy to deliver it, and the truth is that I forget everything it says, I do not remember the name of the pills, or the amount I should take, so I am in the hands of several people to take the medication, and I take what they give me, and all for having made a mistake, but hey, I guess this is one of the ways in which I have to pay it.
I am not really sure if I would be able to have them in my possession, they are a lot of pills, and when he gives me the downturn in the first thing I think is again in suicide, it would be very easy for me to take them all again I hit with a good bottle of wine as I did the other time and forget everything in the sad dream of morpheus, the truth is that I still don't trust myself to have that many dangerous pills in my power.
But well, removing the fact that I am a potential suicide bomber, right now I feel good, which is what really counts, something more nervous than normal, but hey, I guess that goes into the reactions that I have to suffer in the reduction of medication that the psychiatrist has given me, otherwise I do not understand it, as I do not know which pill is the one that has been taken from me I do not know if it is possible that the nerves are due to change or not, but I have noticed it for some days and it is more or less the time that passes so that you notice the lack of said pill therefore attending to the logic is the most normal.
Anyway, the fact of going back to the street with my friends is what counts most, I needed to breathe a little, I had been locked up for many days and although it's cold it's not my turn, I must force myself to go out there and see people, I can't be locked in my loneliness all day, how easy do I see it now, right? When I was lying in bed a week ago without wanting to do anything but die.
And it is that things for a person like me change from night to day, just one day I am drowned in my own feelings as the next day I want to eat the world, and now I am at that point, I want to eat the world, and I have I want to do things, but of course, I have to go very carefully, I can not move very fast because at any moment I can sink again and feel like shit again, this is so for me, radical changes are something with What I have to live, I'm almost used to, but it's hard for me, it's hard for me to live like that.
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